Yesterday started early. Mama woke me up with her hair dryer at 7:30 a.m. I had hoped to sleep the day away. I thought that maybe if I was alseep I wouldn't think about the break up. Unfortunately, Lily wasn't having it. She came in to lay with me and tell me all about her new friend. Apparently, she thought it would be funny to put this new friend in a laundry basket and push him down a flight of stairs. I think she has told everyone she has come in contact with about this incident. Poor Reid. I hope his head is ok.
Later in the day I planned to go to Fire on the Water. After a shower I decided to stay home. No I wasn't afraid of running into Tim, even though I am sure he was there. I just decided not to go. Spending the day at home was good and bad. It was nice to just lay around and relax, but all I could think about was Tim. Because I still live at home, my parents are watching my every move. I feel as if I am in a bubble. Trying to stay strong for them, is making it harder on me. I know they love me, and only have my best interest in mind. It's just that I need to heal. I didn't cry all day! Nor did I call or text Tim. He called once, but I didn't answer. I am sure he wasn't calling to say that he had made a mistake. So talking to him now would just be too hard.
Mama made a big dinner and then I headed for bed.......at 8 p.m. Yes I slept all night. My brain just couldn't process it anymore. I had thought about it all day, and was just worn out. I know that God has a predetermined plan. I know that he will take care of me. I know that I am going to survive. I know that even though this is hard right now, in time it will get easier.
So now I am starting day two. Believe me when I say it isn't any easier than yesterday. I still woke up way too early this morning to a broken heart. Lily once again told me her story about Reid, my parents expressed their concerns for my feelings, and I am still thinking of Tim constantly. Sundays were our rest days. We would start with Church, followed by lunch and then naps until Church time again. Usually our Sunday nights were spent at the snowball shack or watching movies.
Today will be hard, so will tomorrow and the next day and the next. I don't know when I will start to feel better. Sooner rather than later would be great. Until then I will continue to take it minute by minute and day by day. My hope is still for Tim and I to be together, but I have to be realistic.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Posted by T Sharee at 7:29 AM