Day four...how much more?

I am starting to grow weak in my faith. Don't be upset folks, I am just getting a little tired. My emotions are beginning to wear me down. Stress has somewhat taken over my brain. I am not giving up on my faith, or God, I am just getting tired. Somehow a part of me really thought that Tim would have called by now. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but I really had my hopes up. Too bad reality kicked me in the face instead. I know better than to give up, so I will continue to have faith!!! Even if its super hard!

My life isn't all bad:

I have been spending extra special time with miss Preslee!!!! Oh and Kristy too! (sorry kristy) Poor Kristy is realizing that now with Preslee in the picture, she no longer matters. She laughs about it, but seriously its true. When someone comes to her house, they pass her up and go straight for Pres. I am guilty of it too I guess. I remember at one of her showers someone telling her that, and its totally true. Kristy is a good sport about it, and really is just grateful that so many people love Pres!!

I do have a new hair do........... and color!!!!! Thanks to Elria!!! I don't have any pictures because my camera is still at Tim's. Hopefully, I will have it back by the weekend. I know ya'll just can't wait to see me actually camping!!!! It's kinda one of those have to see it to believe it things right? Hey I am shocked to be going, just as much as you are shocked that I am going. Anyway back to my hair. Kellie Pickler has the cutest haircut. Thinking I could pull it off was one thing, having to get up this morning to fix it was another. Lets just say it took me an extra 10 minutes this morning. Not a good sign. Wonder what it will look like after a night of sleeping on the ground. Oh I shutter to think! Promise to post pictures as soon as possible. I am so glad to have my blondie highlights back!!!!!

I am tanning almost daily (much to the dismay of my daddy), even though my tanning bed is closing at the end of the month. It may cause cancer, but its 15 minutes of peace and quiet. I'll take it!!!! Laying out in the sun has been on my to do list all summer, but by the time I get off work, its too late. Thank goodness for tanning beds! Now where will I tan after this month?

Oh and I have re-discovered the love to online shop. Oh no my poor credit card!!!!! Call me crazy, but is online shopping not better sometimes? Think about it......you can go to more stores without running out of time, sales tend to be better, coupon codes are always helpful, no waiting in line, or rude sales people. Now I will agree that not being able to try on the item before purchasing it can be a downfall, but you can always return the item. This week I have found tons of sales. The best part of online shopping.......not having to drive home drained after a day long shopping spree!!!!!

I want to thank everyone for their sweet comments. You will never know what your kinds words mean to me. Keep the comments and prayers coming......I need them!!!

Goodbye Giveaways

As of July 31st I will no longer be doing blog giveaways using ETSY. After several nasty e-mails over the past few days, I feel that it is time to stop. These giveaways are meant to be fun to all who enter and helpful to the shop owner's business. All current blog giveaways will continue. I will also consider doing future giveaways with the ETSY shop owners who have been a part of my past giveaways.

As for shopping on ETSY, I have found some really new and neat things. Meeting all of these shop owners has been great, and I have really made some great new friends. I will continue to shop with them, and them only.

If you or someone you know is interested in doing a giveaway with me, please let me know. If you know of another great site to find similar ETSY items that would be great too! My hope is to continue blog giveaways, but ETSY is no longer the place. I have enjoyed doing these giveaways and meeting all of you that have entered as well as the sellers. Your stories are all so interesting and some even similar to my own.

No need to stop following. I will if nothing else go back to once monthly BIG giveaways. Your suggestions are always helpful when the time comes to choose these BIG items.

(Please remember that I purchase these from my own pocket, so lets not think too BIG)

Wood Pond Designs

Rainbow Jumble Ball

fun, bright colors, and bold patterns (dots and striped) to visually stimulate baby, soft, squashy, and lightweight so the ball is easy to pick up and grab.

They are great for young babies for tummy time - they either have a few jingle bells or a rattle inside. Because she uses cotton fabric and polyfill, they are also safe for teething and completely washable.

She uses a variety of different textured ribbons. Jumble Balls are a great handmade learning/developmental toy. They are great for babies, toddlers (fun to roll or toss and safe too), and even young children learning to throw and toss.

These are a unique item created by Jennifer based on a quilted ball her mom used to make (she's a quilter). She started making them for friends having babies and they were such a hit, she decided to make them for her Etsy Shop. She also made sock monkeys, and other plush critters.

She loves upcycling wool sweaters because they come out so soft and cozy.


Winner will be drawn on July 29th.
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5972046

Circle Line Studio

Wall monograms are really big right now. Every room in your house from the bathroom to nursery can use a wall monogram. They don't always have to be your initials. Check out the tree!!! I love both of these. Glad I am not eligible to win, I wouldn't be able to pick!!!! This giveaway is being made possible through Circle Line Studios from ETSY. The drawing will be on July 28th.

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6243493

100 Calling Cards winner

Congrats to Jen & Rob on winning the calling cards. Even though they were the only ones to comment on the post, I still had 10 e-mails for this post. How funny that they still won!!!!!! Congrats!!!!

Julieanne Originals Winner

Congrats to Cindi!!!!! She has won this giveaway!!!!! I am sure she will absolutely love her item!!!! Send me a picture of it when you get it Cindi!

Tiny Leaves winner

Congrats to Jessiecue!!!! Jess I am so glad I finally pulled your name out of the hat. Well actually Mary did the drawing so you can thank her!!!! I will send your info to the seller. Be sure to send me a pic of you in your new earrings!!!!!!

Elliette Baby

I have learned from Preslee that a wash mit is a necessity for bath time. These are from the ETSY store Elliette Baby. Not only does Blair have an ETSY site she has two others. Check them out!!! Winner will be drawn on July 8th.

http://www.elliettebaby.com/

http://www.madeforcache.com/

A camping we will go

During rough times like this, I am grateful for awesome friends and family to help me through. My parents have been awesome!! My sweet sister, Cassie, has called and checked on me daily. Kristy has been a huge help too! Oh and we can't forget about miss Preslee!!!

Kristy has joined the bandwagon on the subject of getting me out of the house. She has this crazy idea that I would want to go camping this weekend. Ummmm no thanks. I am not really a sleep under the stars kinda gal. Call me spoiled if you like, but I am more of a Hilton gal. Ya know room service, continental breakfast, indoor pool, indoor plumbing........ You get the idea! Bless her heart she loves me and I know that she really wants me to get out, but c'mon camping?????

My parents took us camping once. Let's emphasise the word once. Pretty sure Cassie and I whined and complained so much on that 3 day trip, that now they won't even think of a family camping trip. Hey I guess it worked!!!!

I need a daily shower. I need indoor plumbing. I need electricity. I need a bed. I need my tv.

How will I brush my teeth? How will I bathe? How will I dry my hair? How will I fall asleep with no TV noise? Okay well I can promise you little sleep will be had. I will be way too afraid of spiders, crickets, bears, coyotes, skunks, snakes..........you get the picture.

I have a friend who says you should wait and see what kind of snake it is, before you freak out. Ummm yeah ok. How about NO! I don't think I will be analyzing a snake to see if its poisonous or if its just going leave a mark.

Still as much as I hate the idea of spending the night on a cold, damp, dirt covered, bug infested, rocky, gross, ...............ground........I guess I will. Yes I said it, and even now as I type it I am changing my mind. Not exactly how I wanted to start my vacation, but oh well.

Ya'll pray for me! I am missing Tim like crazy! Taking it minute by minute is getting harder by the minute. I thought break-ups were suppose to get easier as the days go by. Yes, I realize it has only been 3 days. Still I am ready for my phone to ring. I am ready for it to say TIM CALLING! I hear patience is a virtue. It's more like impossible for me!

Down the Street

How cute are these clutches? Down the street is another ETSY shop that has the cutest stuff. Not only am I in love with her stuff, but I love her name as well, Elle. Go check out her shop! Winner will be drawn on July 14th. Good Luck!

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5575699

I am happy to report that I did not sit at home and cry yesterday! Even though I really felt like it, I kept myself busy. I also did not call or text Tim. Yes, thats right 2 days! It's incredibly hard to not talk to him, but I think this is the way he wanted it.

Kristy and I had planned to take Preslee to the pool. All I wanted to do was lay by the water and relax. Too bad the rain drops started to fall just as I was leaving my house. On my way doen the valley I swear I saw a bolt of lightening hit the ground. Yet, I held out hope for the sun to shine! By the time I made it to Kristy's all my hope had faded!

Never fear we did have a back up plan. Lunch at the Mexican restaurant was just what the Dr. ordered. For the first time in 3 days I actually laughed. It was great to get out of the house for a few hours. After lunch we went back to Kristy's house. She has high speed internet and I really wanted to catch up on Army Wives. Army Wives has been a favorite of mine since the first season. For some reason I have missed every episode of this season. In the process of catching up, I kinda got Kristy hooked!!!!! Hooked or addicted?? A little of both I think.

After a quick trip to the snowball shack and Wal-mart I headed home, just in time for the new episode of Army Wives. Last night was the best night of sleep I have had all weekend. Maybe because I woke up way to early yesterday morning and didn't take a nap all day. Maybe my mind is just so overworked from all the stress. Either way I am grateful for the rest. Lord knows I needed it.

On to today. I have no idea what today holds. I know that I will take it one minute at a time. I will continue to pray for strength. I will try hard not to think of Tim every minute, even though that is all I can think about. I will survive!

(Sorry for the lack of pictures. My camera is at Tim's along with all my other stuff. I had planned to go get most of it today, but ran into a roadblock, well more like a garage block. I hope to have it by the end of the week, so I can take pictures at the fireworks show this weekend.)

Pick your Pocket

The pick your pocket winner is Kelli Ann!!!!! Check out her blog! Can't wait to see Miss Kaitlynn in a cute little dress from this adorable ETSY shop!! Thanks to all who entered!!!!


http://willandkelliann.blogspot.com/

BluLima

How awesome is this print????? I heart it!!! Oh and the fact that it is pink really makes me love it! This is from the ETSY store BluLima. Winner will be drawn on July 22nd.

Bows and Holders

Every little princess needs a great place to keep her bows!! What would a bow holder be without her sweet inital on it? The is from the bows and holders shop on ETSY. Winner needs to allow for 5 weeks for shipping. Winner will be drawn on July 10th.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24599466

Day one over, starting day two

Day one:

Yesterday started early. Mama woke me up with her hair dryer at 7:30 a.m. I had hoped to sleep the day away. I thought that maybe if I was alseep I wouldn't think about the break up. Unfortunately, Lily wasn't having it. She came in to lay with me and tell me all about her new friend. Apparently, she thought it would be funny to put this new friend in a laundry basket and push him down a flight of stairs. I think she has told everyone she has come in contact with about this incident. Poor Reid. I hope his head is ok.

Later in the day I planned to go to Fire on the Water. After a shower I decided to stay home. No I wasn't afraid of running into Tim, even though I am sure he was there. I just decided not to go. Spending the day at home was good and bad. It was nice to just lay around and relax, but all I could think about was Tim. Because I still live at home, my parents are watching my every move. I feel as if I am in a bubble. Trying to stay strong for them, is making it harder on me. I know they love me, and only have my best interest in mind. It's just that I need to heal. I didn't cry all day! Nor did I call or text Tim. He called once, but I didn't answer. I am sure he wasn't calling to say that he had made a mistake. So talking to him now would just be too hard.

Mama made a big dinner and then I headed for bed.......at 8 p.m. Yes I slept all night. My brain just couldn't process it anymore. I had thought about it all day, and was just worn out. I know that God has a predetermined plan. I know that he will take care of me. I know that I am going to survive. I know that even though this is hard right now, in time it will get easier.

So now I am starting day two. Believe me when I say it isn't any easier than yesterday. I still woke up way too early this morning to a broken heart. Lily once again told me her story about Reid, my parents expressed their concerns for my feelings, and I am still thinking of Tim constantly. Sundays were our rest days. We would start with Church, followed by lunch and then naps until Church time again. Usually our Sunday nights were spent at the snowball shack or watching movies.

Today will be hard, so will tomorrow and the next day and the next. I don't know when I will start to feel better. Sooner rather than later would be great. Until then I will continue to take it minute by minute and day by day. My hope is still for Tim and I to be together, but I have to be realistic.

Big Announcement

The very first time I met Tim I was dating his cousin. Yes, I know sounds crazy right? I remember thinking that he was super quiet and shy. During the year that I dated his cousin, I probably saw Tim about 15 times. Each time I seemed to like him more and more. Soon a crush developed. After a year together my relationship with his cousin ended. Who would have thought that 3 months after breaking up with my boyfriend that Tim and I would be talking????

Our first date was super sweet. I remember that we went up on the mountain to see the lights. Even though I knew that his family would have huge issues (because of his cousin) with us dating, I just knew that he was the one. Driving home that night I remember asking God for a sign. I asked him to play my fav song. You may not believe it, but it came on the radio about 5 minutes later. Doubt if you like, but I believe.

About 2 years into our relationship Tim began to have doubts. He has never had a long term relationship other than ours. Of course he had doubts. It was hard, but I knew that he had to go out with guys, and see other people. Otherwise, how would he know that we were suppose to be together? We spent a month apart (the longest month of my life) and he "played the field" so to speak. Then one night he was at one of our friend's houses. I walked in and my heart sank. I hadn't seen or even talked to him in so long. It was super hard to see him. When I got up to leave he followed me to my car. We sat for over an hour talking about our relationship and the future. By the end of the conversation he said that he was sure he wanted to come back.

He told me that he wasn't ready to get married, but one day we would. That was last March (2008). August 25th (3 yr anniversary) came and went with no engagement. No talk of engagement. Everyone else in the county was talking about our future, but not us.

So...................................................................................................................................................................
you probably thought that this post was going to be me announcing our engagement. Actually I am announcing that after almost 4 years together, Tim and I have broken up.

Yes, I am hurt. Yes, I have cried until my eyes actually hurt. Yes, I am scared. Yes, I am mad. Yes, I understand.

No, the world isn't over. No, I won't be sitting at home crying. No, I will not be calling Tim to beg him back.

I will not be texting him either. At this time I am not answering or returning his calls or texts. Right now I think the best thing for us is to cut ties and let him do what he needs to do. Talking and texting would just be too hard.

I will be turning to God. I have complete faith in him and what he can do. God only gives us what we can handle and not a bit more. After some thought I have decided that God has a plan for us all. He made our plan long before we ever existed. We can do nothing to alter or change his plan. So why try? If Tim and I are meant to be together, God will put us back together. If not, then I know there is someone out there for me. He may not come along this minute or this month. It may be months or years before I meet him, but I have faith.

So what happened? Well the short version (believe me you want the short version) is that Tim feels like he will always wonder if he doesn't see what else is out there. He told me that he loved me, but he just has to do this. Even though I think he should have done this last March, I am trying to understand. As much as this hurts I honestly cannot blame him. He is trying to be an adult and do the right thing. I really think he is looking out for us both. I don't want him to do anything that he will regret later. Divorce isn't exactly on my to-do list. Tim is a very Godly man. I know that he will pray hard about this and listen to God. That gives me comfort.

My biggest hope is that Tim and I will be together forever. Sooner rather than later! However, all things happen for a reason and so I will be taking advantage of this time.

What next? I am still planning a beach trip even if I have to go alone. A week in the sun and sand will do me some good. Getting out of town for a few days will be wonderful!!!!! I really don't know what's next for me. I truly want to be happy and I want the same for Tim. I know that we will be whether we are together or not. God will take care of us both.

Talk about Tim and I if you want. I honestly don't care. Gossip if you feel the need, but you are the one looking childish. Tim and I are adults. As hard as the break up is, I know that it is for the best. The last thing I want is for us to get married, and him wake up in 20 years thinking he didn't date enough.

If you feel led, please pray for us. I am not praying for Tim and I to get back together. Instead I am simpling praying for strength to make it through the days, direction to make good decisions and that if it be the Lord's will we will be back together.

I want to thank you in advance for all the sweet comments you will be leaving. I know my followers and I know that you will be there for me. Thanks everyone.

To Sweet Pea from Me

Wonder how long Miss Preslee would keep this on her head? Well we are gonna find out! I am ordering her one exactly like this! This bow is from the adorable ETSY shop To Sweet Pea from Me. Pink and brown just match so well. The winner will be drawn on July 27th. Remember the first person to comment gets extra entries!!!

Make-A-Wish

Let me introduce you to Holly and her amazing abilities. Alexis I thought of you when I first found Holly's ETSY store. How adorable would Matty be in a couple of years running around in a cape???????

I asked Holly to co-sponsor a giveaway with one of her fabulous capes. Holly said that she would love to, but right now she is covered up making capes for Make-A-Wish children. Isn't that great? Even though Holly can't do a giveaway I still wanted to feature her awesome support to this foundation. I asked Holly to send me some info ,and here is what she said:

Each office for the Make A Wish Foundation has a 'closet' that is opened for wish kids and their siblings. Each is allowed to choose an item. I donate capes for the closet whenever they need them (I send 20 or so at a time). I love to hear when they're out and need more! In the past, when I made other items, I donated a portion of my sales from craft shows to Make A Wish, so I've been donating to them for about 10 years now. They're a great organization doing wonderful things for kids.

I have heard of photographers setting up photo shoots with families of these sick children. These sessions are free. I am in the process of looking into doing this myself.

I thought how great is Holly to do this. We should all be so generous!!!! So I am asking each of you to look into a charity of your choice. If you can't donate money, then find another way to help. Even if its just blogging about that charity, that is helping. I look forward to learning more about the charities close to your hearts.

If you have a product that you think Make-A-Wish children would enjoy please contact Holly!!!

Thanks Holly!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bits O Honey Designs

Sweet and petite! This cute lil business card/gift card/credit card holder is adorable with limey green and aqua paisleys cotton fabric on the outside and a coordinating lime green on the inside. It's unusual design will hold approximately 20 business cards. It can also be used to adorn a gift card that its recipient can later use to hold their own business cards. Don't have business cards? Use it to carry credit/debit card or paper cash. Heavy interfacing is sewn in for strength and stability. Size: 3x4" closed

I love this! One of my friends never carries a handbag. For as long as I have known her she just has a card case like this. Everytime we go shopping she attaches her keys to it and then attaches it to her belt loop. I personally have to have my handbags, but I really want one of these for my cards!!!!

Winner will be drawn on July 7th!

Pretty Panda

A scarf is a hot accessorie this summer. I have one in white and black, but I really do need a colorful one too! Pretty sure I will be buying it from Pretty Panda. She has free shipping on all items this summer! Thats a great deal! Winner will be drawn on July 6th. http://www.prettypanda.etsy.com

Pray bloggers pray!!!!!

Not all of you follow my friend Ashley's blog, but I wanted to ask you to join me in praying for her and her family. Sometime yesterday afternoon her 1 and 1/2 year old nephew passed away. I cannot imagine what her family must be going through. Prayer is the only remedy that I have.

Ashley said in her post last night that she believes the blog world is full of prayer. She is right. Please pray with me for her and her family. If you feel led to do so, please head over to her blog, http://www.underthepolkadottree.blogspot.com/, and leave her a sweet comment. I know that she would appreciate any kind thought you may have for her during this terrible time. Think how encouraged she will be to see how right she was about the blog world!

Loves 2 do crafts

I know Jessica and Tracy are going to love this giveaway! They are both big scrapbook gals! Me not so much. I just don't have time. However, after seeing the ETSY shop, Loves 2 do crafts, I may be making time. Her things are too cute!!!! Rhonda has agreed to give away the winner's choice of an embellishment. Head on over to her shop to see what you like. Be sure to tell me in the comment!!!! http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5091808

Winner will be drawn on July 2nd.

Hey Winners!

Don't forget to email me a picture of you and your item once you receive it! I think it will be fun to see who got what and how well they like it! Also it couldn't hurt if you gave the ETSY shop some credit too!!!! Leave me a comment telling me how you use your new item, what you like best about it and if you would recommend the item to someone. This feedback will be great for the ESTY shop owners. Plus it will help me keep track and make sure that everyone is receiving their items. I want to make sure everyone is holding up their ends of the deal. Oh and if you leave feedback I will enter you 5 times in the giveaway of your choice. Thanks again for entering!!!!!

Lunch Bag Winner

Hey Pamela guess what? You won the adorable lunch bag!!!!!!! Congrats to you!!!!! I have sent your e-mail address to Rick Rack Queen. She should be contacting you soon!!!!

Anyone interested in purchasing your own lunch bag can follow link below!

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5107577&section_id=5306154