Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Weddings, Babies, Relationships.........Oh my!

Pretty sure the devil is out in full force today. Isn't it amazing how the smallest things in life can upset us the most. Today has just been one of those days. Well I should really say yesterday since it is now almost 1 a.m.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be married. My dream job is to be a wife and mama. Call me crazy to want those things at 23, but I do. Kristy keeps apologizing for talking about wedding stuff all the time, and I keep telling her that its fine. It really is. I am truly happy for Kristy and Cody. I hate that she feels like we can't talk about her wedding. One of my best friends is getting married and she is afraid to talk about it around me. How terrible is that. On the flip side, how great of a friend is she!!!! I love how much she cares about me. God has blessed me with amazing friends and family.

On top of Kristy's wedding, I also received an invite to another wedding in a couple of weeks. Then another friend dropped off her baby shower invite and when I got home I found a second baby shower invite in the mailbox. Add these to the other two baby showers I have been invited to in the last week and I am about to have a meltdown.

I am not jealous of these gals and their happiness. They are so blessed to be so happy. I want to be happy too. Just because my life isn't exactly great these days doesn't mean I want everyone around me to be unhappy. I guess maybe I was just caught off guard by all these weddings and babies.

Not to worry though, because I will survive. The devil may be throwing all these things at me at once, but I still have God. I can still rely on him to handle any issue that I cannot.

For some reason I have been so worried about me and Tim. My knuckles were white from holding on so tightly to a relationship that I had zero control of. Letting go and letting God handle the situation has freed my mind more than you can believe. No I am still not over it, but I get a little stronger each day. Just knowing that God is in control helps 100%. I have said it before and I will say it again................Its not the situation, but how you handle the situation. For me the best way to deal is to look up. So many things went wrong today, but each time I just took a breath and said a prayer.

Yes the devil can throw us for a loop, but God is always there to protect us. Isn't that a comforting thought? Well it is for me.

I should not complain. My life really isn't bad at all. I have a great family, awesome friends, a good job, my health and one day I will have complete happiness. Until then I am just going to enjoy the ride on this awesome plan that God made for me long before he ever created me.

I am headed to bed now. 1/2 day at work tomorrow (well really today) and then we are off to Knoxville for some bridesmaid dress shopping!!!! Maybe I can talk the gals into eating at Cajun Cafe!!!! Yummy!

P.S. Just in case I haven't said it in a while, thanks for reading my blog. I really love to blog and read your blogs. Thanks for your comments too. You will never know how great and helpful your comments have been during this time.


Kristy said...

Hey! Your gonna be just fine. God is with you..and always will be. Your doing so good with everything!! And I appreciate all your help with everything. Your such a great friend!! And we will be wearing shorter dresses, even though the wedding is in the fall...lol.

Leslie said...

Praying for peace for you today! Our paster always reminds us: if you not running with God-you're running with the devil! Remember God does not tempt us-the devil does!! Hold tight to God and he will bless you in ways you could never imagine!!!

Kimberly said...

I wish I didn't know exactly how you feel. I'm so happy for all my friends and family, because it really feels like everyone is either getting married or having a baby. But God and I just keep going and He really is enough!

Jarvis Noelle said...

I so related to this post! Thank you for putting yourself out there!